-- MISSION STATEMENT --

-- JON STEWART INTELLIGENCE AGENCY --

-- CLASSIFIED: TOP SECRET --

1.  Celebrate Jon's intellectual and comedic brilliance.

2.  Aggressively seek and disseminate non-classified
    Jon news, events, and information.

3.  Maintain comprehensive and terrifyingly maniacal web site.     Mwa ha ha ha ha ha.  Ha.

4.  Dedicate life to sinister, secret, subversive conspiracy     to eliminate Jon opposition and implement His Agenda.

5.  Laugh. (See #3)

WTF?JON NEWS | JOIN

"You're not gonna tell them about our plan, are you?
You gotta be careful 'cause they look just like us, you know.
They can sneak in."
— Jon Stewart, Unleavened, 1996