-- MISSION STATEMENT --
-- JON STEWART INTELLIGENCE AGENCY --
-- CLASSIFIED: TOP SECRET --
1. Celebrate Jon's intellectual and comedic brilliance.
3. Maintain comprehensive and terrifyingly maniacal web site. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha. Ha.
4. Dedicate life to sinister, secret, subversive conspiracy to eliminate Jon opposition and implement His Agenda.
5. Laugh. (See #3)
"You're not gonna tell them about our plan, are you?
You gotta be careful 'cause they look just like us, you know.
They can sneak in."
Jon Stewart, Unleavened, 1996